The Power of Acknowledgement

In difficult conversations what most of us want more than anything is to be listened to and acknowledged. Nothing has more power to deescalate a conflict than a genuine acknowledgement of the other person. So what makes acknowledgement so hard?

We have been taught that to acknowledge the other person really means that they are right and we are wrong. Many of us are resistant to acknowledging the other because we think it means admitting fault. Unwilling to assume blame, we sometimes use pseudo acknowledgments like, “I’m sorry you felt that way,” which basically is saying to them, “It is your own fault.” This can make matters worse.

The key to giving a genuine acknowledgement lies in recognizing that while it may not have been our intentions, our actions do sometimes have a negative impact on them. So, try saying something like, “While it was not my intention, I can understand how this could have been hard for you.” This does not imply you are to blame. A simple acknowledgement like this can save you a long protracted battle.

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