Changing Old Habits

As the New Year approaches many of us begin thinking about how we would like to change in the coming year. If you are like me, changing old patterns of dealing with conflict can be three steps forward and two steps back. Sometimes progress happens in bursts, but often it is slow and inconsistent. The following poem helps me accept this slow pace when I see old habits that don’t serve me well returning. Have a great holiday season!

Autobiography in Five Chapters

1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost . . I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it’s a habit.
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.

Portia Nelson, quoted in Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (Harper Collin Publishers, San Francisco, 1992).

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