Emotional Intelligence

As a society, we put a lot of emphasis on intellectual intelligence. More recently however, we are hearing about the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). In his book titled Emotional Intelligence Daniel Goleman defined EQ as “the capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships.” (Goleman, 1998, p.317).

While this may seem easy, in my work, I am often struck by how limited our emotional vocabulary is. Many of us do not know what we are feeling, or we think that our judgments and character assassinations are feelings. Our lack of EQ leads to our lack of success, both in conflicts and in other ways. Goleman claims that,” on the basis of statistical studies of performance in the workplace, emotional competencies are twice as important in contributing to excellence as . . . pure intellect and expertise (p. 320).”

What follows are the twenty competencies Goleman has identified as being important to EQ. I would add that they are also important to learning how to successfully resolve conflicts.

Self Awareness

1. Emotional self-awareness
2. Accurate self-assessment
3. Self-confidence

Self Management

1. Self-control
2. Trustworthiness
3. Conscientiousness
4. Adaptability
5. Achievement orientation
6. Initiative

Social Awareness

1. Empathy
2. Organizational awareness
3. Service orientation

Social Skills

1. Developing others
2. Leadership
3. Influence
4. Communication
5. Change catalyst
6. Conflict management
7. Building bonds
8. Teamwork and collaboration

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